Journal Entry: July 10, 2014

If you allow yourself to feel, to really feel, to dig deep and know you’re capable of more..


Of being that tree, being that bird, being that rose petal that fell to the floor, you would know this love.  I am finally capable of finding this love within me.


It’s an experience, one that you pray to experience over and over again. It is a memory of being born. Seeing the vibrancy of every light, every colour…hearing the bass and treble, feeling the vibration of the notes as they travel through the soft winds and gently bounce back to you off of my velvet skin. Tasting a dish prepared with love and skill – one that awakens every sense, experiencing levels and depth of culinary knowledge that was used with purpose. Using touch to remember the path of your hands and feeling beyond emotion. Shivers when you connect, when you escape your earthly body and become a part of a whole.


It is that smile, that glance, that empathetic notion, the ability to transform, the urge for continuous growth, the need to expand, and knowing when you need protection. Protection for your very own soul, your soul that you so willingly display to those who pass you by on your journey. This is your journey, yours to walk alone, only you’re not alone, when you’re truly in love with life and all of it’s gracious gifts, you will always find that you’re never alone. Because I am there with you.


There are plenty of souls out there wanting to love, you see it in their drive, their creativity, their endless creativity. It is only when I remembered my creative spirit…one that was allowed to dance when she wanted, sing when she wanted, drum when she wanted, walk wherever she felt the wind against her face, wear red lipstick whenever she wanted, and didn’t need an occasion for any celebration, it was this creative being who remembered true love the most. And now – Love is the celebration – Love is the occasion.


This love.


When she gave you all of her focus, she devoured you, she made you feel as though you were the only person she’d ever want to be with for the rest of her days, and you would know that she was going to wait for you in the spirit world.  Whatever world you chose to go to next, you would go together, and if you lost your way there would be no fear of you finding one another again, that was inevitable. How could souls such as these not find one another? Time was all they had. It was what their culture had taught them, what they’d learned from the land, what the language and songs were created for. It was what they were born again to do.  To uphold the sacred tradition of love.  To nurture.  To dream.  To create.  To die.  To return.

I walk each gentle step carrying my mother’s mothers with me, guiding my daughter on her path with grandmothers wisdom. We are all blessed with the power of truth, I have found mine and now I am free, free to love. It is an involuntary reaction – like breathing, necessary.


If I were to leave this earth today, I promise to wait for you.  Patience is my virtue.